Lawyers, a Jew, Presbyterians, and a Social Worker

Although I have never wanted to be a mediator, in all my walks of life, I have always found myself in situations that I needed to do some mediation. Even as a young lieutenant in the U.S. Army, I often mediated between soldiers that disagreed for one reason or another. Listening to each person involved, and then reflecting back to them what was said, often lead to much better resolution than the fist fight that might have ensued.

This past month the peacebuilding team was able to participate in six days of training on mediation skills. The training was sponsored by Family Mediation and Conciliation, a Nairobi based NGO, and the trainer was Michael Williams, a mediator for over 20 years from Ireland. Not only was it a good opportunity for the three of us to have common training together, but we met new people, and learned more about Kenya. And as mediation skills can be applied in many life situations, the training also deepened our well of resources for living in community and working with others.

But what made this experience most worth while was the community we created among the participants. Thirteen of us included the sponsors, trainer, and attendees. There were five lawyers – four Kenyans and one Irishman, a law student, also Kenyan, a Jewish arbitrator who has made his home in Kenya for 35 years, a Samburan tribesman who works with Christian Children’s Foundation, two Kenyan women from the Presbyterian Church of East Africa, and us, the “Catholic nuns.”

Creating our own scenarios for mediation practice led to familiar cases of land disputes, and tensions between cultural traditions and modern necessities. Pershaps it was the unique nature of our group that brought us to mediate a conversation between Sarah, wife of Abraham, and Ishmael, eldest born son of Abraham. Mediation draws on the openness of participants which is why our Jewish friend readily stepped up to role play the part of Ishmael. Several hours of listening and telling and bringing Isaac into the process ended in an empassioned plea from Sarah for Ishmael to come live among the descendants of Abraham, in co-existence and tolerance.

Kenya has not yet incorporated mediation as a legal option for settling disputes, but the process is underway. As a member of the committee to make it happen, Joy Mbaabu, Director of FAMEC, has committed her organization to training mediators for the future. When the judicial system is ready for mediators, she wants them to be available. So far, just over 30 people have participated in the training.

For the peacebuilding team, we have met new friends that will broaden our experience of Kenya, deepen our understanding of other religions, and expand our web of relationships.

Time for Peace

We were out in Western Kenya recently giving a workshop on peacebuilding. We did an exercise created by John Paul Lederach’s based on Psalm 85:12 concerning truth, justice, mercy and peace. In this activity, I was struck by how readily people in this culture see the interconnectedness of these four concepts. One person said that these four concepts were like quadruplets, born at the same time. Another person said that peace was hated by society because people don’t want to put in the time for dialogue which can bring about a more sustainable peace. Yes time is an important ingredient to building peace with justice, truth and mercy. However, in a globalized market-driven world time is minimized. The less time it takes to do something, the more profit can be realized. I wonder how much of this has seeped into our unconsciousness, into every sector of life. Do we take the time to talk with our family, our community members, our co-workers to figure out things together? Do we give the time necessary for reflection on these conversations? Do we sit in the ambiguous moments and wait for things to settle? I have heard it said often that time is a gift we can give to each other. Now I see time not only as a gift of personal presence but of communal presence that can lead to a more peaceful society.

Giang

The edge of Kenya

We were invited by an organization to participate in their civic education workshop in for marginalized women in a town about 300 km North of Nairobi. The ride out was a beautiful one. We pass through lush green mountains and rolling hills. At the end of the tarmac road, we reached the town of Isiolo. The tarmac road signifies a boundary between those who have and those who have not. Beyond this town, people live without much of the basic necessities – like water. One woman came with all her clothes because she could wash her clothes early each morning before the workshop began. Water shortage is a common problem for her family where they need to buy a 20 liters bucket for about 100 shillings. (Day laborers earn approximately 70 shillings per day.) This water has to be used by her family to cook, bathe, wash and clean. People living in the Northern Kenya often joke with people from other parts of Kenya by asking them “How is Kenya?” when they visit.
The women who attended this workshop are leaders in their communities. They want changes that would make life less harsh for themselves and their communities. This is a hard task because still women in these communities have to vote according to what their husbands dictate. They shared stories about corruption and tribalism that lead to elections of people who quickly abandon their constituents by relocating to nice homes in Nairobi. An encouraging note in the meeting was that some women in this group will run in the local elections. I hope that they will achieve their goals. Regardless of winning or losing in this year’s election, these women are opening the door a bit wider to allow other women to follow. They have my admiration.

Giang

AWARENESS OF OUR DIFFERENCES: 7th of March 2007

While walking in Nairobi I was very much fascinated with different kinds of flowers. Each time I looked around there were so many flowers. They were in harmony with each other and added to the beauty of this place. This invited me to think of human diversity and the uniqueness of each one of us the way we are.

This week I participated in a three day workshop, which enhanced and awakened my understanding of the complexity of human nature, a thing to celebrate. The workshop reminded me of the packages of life history we carry around with us. Some of them we are aware of and most of them are in our unconsciousness. For me, this awareness makes it even more complex because I realize I still have a lot to learn about myself before I can even make an attempt to try to learn about another person. As I keep reflecting on this process, I wish that every person can have time and resources to learn about his/herself. This will make the interaction with one another smoother.

As God’s creatures we didn’t choose to be who we are. We found ourselves to be in the culture we were born and raised and this spoke a lot to me. We are all socialized in different ways according to the society we were born and raised. Now, in this era of globalization, we are even more confused because from the beginning in whatever society we were socialized we were not prepared to face the other. The meaning making system of each society is different. We are now a global community and together we are expecting to make meaning out of it without compromising ourselves.

The big blanket of each one’s meaning making system is our cultures. In this cultural package all of us carry values, assumptions, beliefs and myths. Sometimes it is difficult to identify some of the values which might be driving us to act in a certain way. When I am in my cultural context this is not a problem at all, because of the assumptions that people know what I mean. But when I am out of my own cultural context I constantly need to be aware of every word and every action. I might even need to define them because they might have different meaning to some one else who is not from my context (Chagga tribe in Tanzania). This is not an easy thing to do. In this workshop I learned that it is good to be aware of the values we have. This will help us to know why we behave in a certain way in different situations. It will also give us room to negotiate and make healthy choices for our global world.

For all of us who are looking for a culture of peace, it is very important we constantly try to learn more about ourselves and the packages we have inherited in our life history. We need not forget this proverb “you can not give what you don’t have”. This is crucial for each of us to make peace with ourselves first before we make an attempt of reaching out there. We can do this by re-visiting our values, concepts we use and the assumptions. Take full ownership of all the privileges we have in life and then make choices. We also need to be aware of our intent and impact on the rest of the world. If we are not aware of the privileges we have we will be part of the problem, because it is easier to abuse something which you are not aware of.

Having said this, going back to the scenery of flowers and their beauty, I see they have a lot to teach the human family. If each one of us takes the initiative and be commitmented from where she/he is, eventually we will all enjoy a peaceful world.

Collaborative Power

As a culturally diverse team, one exercise we engage in regularly is sharing our observations about how others encounter the three of us. Whether we have an informal meeting with a colleague, or meeting with potential collaborators for the first time, not long after, the three of us will share with each other how we observed the interaction. To whom did the other person speak directly, or did she engage us all equally? Who among the three of us did most of the talking, if any? How did the other person respond to each of us individually? What might we have done differently to present ourselves as a collaborative team? Often the people we meet or work with notice and talk with me, the European American, more than Sia or Giang. Because of our experiences and our recognition that racial preferences operate in society, we try to work in such a way to reveal to others our collaborative effort.

Recently we facilitated a session on power with a group of about 12 people. In preparation, we divided and arranged the work in such a way we felt would present us working as a collaborative team, not a team with a designated leader, or lead facilitator. Sia introduced the day and our objectives, then Giang facilitated the group in setting ground rules for the day. Sia facilitated a discussion on the types and kinds of power, in which the participants identified sources of power and how they can be used positively and negatively. I followed Sia to elicit real examples from the participants and look at how power can be dictated by social constructs.

By then, we had spent about three hours with them, so I posed the question to them, “Who among the three of us (the three facilitators) has power and why?” The first person said I did, because I appeared to be older. Another added that because I was older, I probably had seniority in religious life also. One mentioned that Sia had power because we are on her home continent. Giang was identified as having power because she helped set the ground rules. Again I was identified as having power because when we arrived the other two were busy setting things up and arranging the room but I was not. And someone had observed that I told Giang to move to a different chair at the beginning, which she did. Another said that I had power because the other two presented first and I came afterward to tie it all together. One said I had power because of my physical size.

I noted these observations on the board one by one and then addressed the reality of each assumption. Age, yes I am the oldest, and particularly in most African cultures and many others, age is honorific, and carries power. Seniority in religious life is share by Giang and me as we enter in the same group. Geographical setting gives Sia power through experience and knowledge that Giang and I do not have. Giang’s facilitation of setting ground rules is perceived as an integral part of the facilitation, so some participants see that as a position of power. My physical size does give an appearance of power initially, yet my actual strength and health would actually be weaker than Sia and Giang both.

It is true that Giang and Sia were visible setting things up before we began, preparing for their own presentations. I did not have any preparations to make, but that was perceived as a position of power. Also, I did tell Giang to move to another chair, for my personal needs of seating arrangements, which she accommodated to preserve her need of harmony in front of the group. This was perceived as power, and was unwittingly a play of power on my part.

The organization of work that we had arranged in an effort to present collaboration was not perceived that way. We had decided Sia would begin and Giang would follow giving them visibility first, then I would be third. Participants perceived almost the opposite of our intentions. Had I introduced the day and our objectives, would I not have been perceived to be “in charge”? Had Sia been the third presenter and “tied it all together” would they have perceived her to have power in the group? Had Giang facilitated a different part of the day, how would they have perceived her in the group? Did my telling Giang to change seats dictate the dynamics?

These are valuable observations for the participants, and also for us in our work as we continue. We did not push for the participants to identify race as the indicator of power in our group, but was that operating in their designation of my power? In whatever way we organize our facilitations and presentations, will we be able to reveal our collaborative effort as a team? That is our hope, our intention, and we will continue to try, and to learn each time, and share our learnings as we go.

World Social Forum-January 2007

World Social Forum (WSF) 2007

In 2006, we came to Nairobi, Kenya and had about 4 months to settle into our new home. At the beginning of this year we participated in the World Social Forum held for the first time in Africa. Over 50,000 people gathered from around the globe from January 20^th to January 25^th in Nairobi to talk about social issues and to link people in social movements of transformation under the theme “Another world is possible”. People came together with a purpose to transform the world from the ground up. There were daily meetings around some main issues facing our world today - migration, human trafficking, debt relief for poor countries, land reforms, environmental protection, wars and conflicts, and HIV-AIDs. This meeting was held in contrast and protest to another meeting that was taking place in Davos, Sweden – the World Economic Forum, where the powerful and rich gather to talk about how to make money.

There were many workshops and seminars presenting different topics that attracted us. On one occasion all three of us attended a presentation given by the women Nobel Peace Prize winners who started a project called Nobel Women’s Initiative. They use it as a platform for action on behalf of sustainable peace for our world. Jody Williams, Wangari Mathai, and Sharin Ebadi spoke out against political, economic, social and environmental violence. They highlighted issues of injustices around the world. For instance , we learned that South Africa used its first vote on the UN Security Council against a UN Resolution that points out the injustices done by the Burmese government against its own people. (What seemed to me a grave injustice is how Jodi Williams’ voice has been muffled since winning the Nobel Peace Prize. The New York Times and Washington Post has stopped publishing any of her writings in their Op-ed pages.)

One of the issues that was highlighted with daily presentations concerned international migration. People from Europe, Asia, Latin America and Africa talked about how the search for employment, for a better living has affected lives in all corners of the world. We had been familiar with migration issues in the Americas and Asia. It was good to find out the current situation in Africa. The poor of Africa go North to Europe, and they are increasing in number. One similar theme repeats itself for the poor whether they are Africans going to Europe, Latinos going to the U.S. or the from the south of Asia to rich northern Asian countries - discrimination, prejudice and mistreatment.

Despite the many problems, migration will continue to increase because developing countries like Kenya are looking to send their workers abroad. Already the Kenyan government has mandated all nurses to upgrade their studies to an RN degree by 2010 so that they can go abroad to work and send money home. This economic strategy has been employed by other countries in Asia and Latin American for decades with little or no appreciable gains in the lives of the citizens of these developing countries. The WSF was a good space for people from different continents to share and strategize on how to protect the rights of migrants and their families. The 5 day long discussions and networking among people working for the rights of migrants will be included in the final statements coming out of the WSF on the rights of migrants and the issues they face with calls for international attention to their problems. We will certainly keep our eyes and ears open to the migration trend in Africa.

Besides attending different events, we also gave a presentation at the WSF on strategic coalition building: how civil society could provide a more comprehensive and effective service to society without unnecessary duplication or cancellation of efforts. We had a gathering of about 50 people at the WSF who were interested in exploring how coalition building works to for a better society. We saw this as the beginning of our efforts to build strong webs of relationships that will enable societies to sustain and endure turbulences – which make for sustainable peace in societies.

Prior to this presentation, we had convened a meeting with six networks from different sectors working in Africa for their input on this idea of strategic coalition building. They were enthusiastic and wanted us to further pursue this effort with them – to create a space where they could continue the dialogue on strategic coalition building.

Living Interculturally

Immediately following the WSF, the team gave a workshop on intercultural living skills to a group of men belonging to an international religious order. The participants came from 4 different cultures and are all called to live out their religious commitments in an intercultural setting. It was a very good weekend for us and for the participants. We were reminded throughout the workshop of the need for our world to learn how to live together, not just exist along side each other. In light of the issues of discrimination and prejudices that face more and more people in today’s world due to migration and ethnic violence, we feel affirmed in our desire to live in an intentionally multicultural community and to bring our personal experiences in this context to the work that we do as a witness to the possibility and vitality of intercultural living.

Objectives

The objectives of the Marynoll Sisters Peace Building Team include creating a web of relationships between communities and strengthening their capacity for mutual learning and healing.

The following workshops are available:
- Nonviolent Communication
- Conflict Transformation
- Sustaining Dialogue
- Trauma Healing
- Peace Education
- Peace Strategies

Facilitation is available for:
- Needs Assessment
- Conflict Sensitive Program Design, Implementation, Assessment and Evaluation
- Dialogue
- Intercultural living

While being from diverse cultures and ethnic backgrounds, our team believes in the African Proverb that says, "Peace is costly but it is worth the expense."